Rosé + Thorns
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Rosé + Thorns
Interview with a Life Coach (feat. @ThePivotCoach)
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Happy New Year, lovebugs! 🥂💛✨
The Rosé + Thorns podcast is back for the new year! In this episode, Dr. P. Ryan sits down with Theo Plowden, certified life coach, personal trainer, and youth impactor, for an honest conversation about overcoming setbacks, emotional vulnerability, and healing. Together, they explore personal growth, resilience, and how men can remain accountable as they engage in relationships with others.
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Want to follow up with Theo? Check him out on Instagram.
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Why do you think you discredit everything that you've already done?
SPEAKER_00Um because it's already it's already there.
unknownOkay.
SPEAKER_00And it's almost like uh, okay, that's done. So it doesn't matter. What's what's next? And I have to, and I have to be like, yo, you this took time to get to that point. Now you're in the process of developing another habit.
SPEAKER_01Hey Love Bugs, and welcome to another episode of the Roseanne Thorns Podcast. Happy New Year! Huh? God has brought us a mighty long way out of 2025 and into 2026. On this episode, y'all, I am super, super excited because I have here with me a certified personal trainer, a resilience youth life coach. Y'all know I was looking for a life coach, right? Who's committed to reminding us that movement is certainly a privilege. Everyone, welcome, Mr. Theo Plowden.
SPEAKER_00No, I appreciate it, man.
SPEAKER_01Yes, how are you?
SPEAKER_00I'm great.
SPEAKER_01Yeah?
SPEAKER_00Great, yeah.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. I like to start off this podcast, these episodes, with a simple question to kind of get people into the show and into the flow. Let's do it. How's your heart?
SPEAKER_00Oh man, my heart is good.
SPEAKER_01What'd that mean?
SPEAKER_00I'm in a good place. Um I'm at peace. And peace is not ease, it's acceptance. And so I'm I ain't gonna say I'm fully there because nothing's a hundred percent. But um for where for the information I have now and what I'm able to apply, I'm I'm at a place of peace right now.
SPEAKER_01Peace is not ease, it's acceptance. I'm a nosy girl, just so you know. What are you accepting in this season that has brought you to a place of peace?
SPEAKER_00Um I'm I'm simple. I approach life really simple. And if it's in front of me, I'm built to handle it. And um, and that's simply it.
unknownOkay.
SPEAKER_00And um, and you handle it at at a pace that allows you not to compromise your purpose, and that's your North Star.
SPEAKER_01Received. I'm gonna dig deeper. No, no, we're here as time goes on. As time goes on, it'll come around, it'll come back around. Okay. How do we know each other? I feel like we've known each other low-key for a good chunk of time, but we've not actually become like acquainted, acquainted until recently.
SPEAKER_00So I do it's when we started living in the same complex. Yeah. And then I went from training majority of my people in the apartment gym, and then we would speak, and then I would see, and then in transitioning me to orange theory and training on the west side, I would see your building intensity and how you worked out over time.
SPEAKER_01You and a lot of people who live in our company.
SPEAKER_00You were the only person I've seen in full pouring rain in a in a in a in a windbreaker walking your ass off.
SPEAKER_01I gotta get my steps.
SPEAKER_00Listen, dog, and I'm talking about this is like flood warning rain. Yeah, yeah. Like this ain't not the sun over here. No, no, no. This is dark.
SPEAKER_01Listen, I'm covered.
SPEAKER_00And yeah, and then um transitioning over to uh level one when before I was training there, you were you were working out there, yeah, flattened down. And then we just chopped it up. I was like, you know, just you know, I'll say hello, but then we just stopped and talked one day.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_00And then from then, you know, I'll check in, you know, give advice on, you know, working out if need be, and then just checking where you're traveling, you know, stuff like that.
SPEAKER_01And I think over time too, you've I think I've saw you wear like a wristband one day, and I was just like, oh, I think he's my fraternity brother, right?
SPEAKER_00It's so I had uh what was it? One of my uh one of my LBs had over, uh had a um, he made he got something made in some country he had, and and that's the only time I ever wore for now. That's the only time I never wear anything on my wrist when it comes to out being alpha related, but um, but yeah, and it just grown from there, man.
SPEAKER_01So that's how I've gotten to know you. Right. But the listeners, the people don't know you, right? Oh no, for sure. So introduce yourself, tell them who you are, tell them what you do, right? Even though I kind of sprinkled a little bit.
SPEAKER_03Right.
SPEAKER_01And I would love for you to share with them who you are in this season, right? Like I at the top of our show today, I talked about how we've made it out of 2025 and we are into 2026. A lot has been going on.
SPEAKER_00Oh no, for sure.
SPEAKER_01It heavy, I think is the word that describes 2025, despite the highs and lows, right? Right. So understanding that you've come out of that year, who are you today?
SPEAKER_00Oh man, so I'ma just a lot. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I'm gonna I'm gonna start from the beginning and then we're gonna get to 2025. So um my name is Theo Plowden. Uh people call me Theonidas because that's the that's the competitor. Um the pivotal. Yeah, listen, it's it's a different dog. And um, or the pivot coach, and that's the um the business. Now, all that started under a mentorship umbrella where I had a mentorship organization called the Pivot Six while I was teaching um middle school students math and playing pro ball overseas. And so doing all that has led me through to this point. Um, I didn't know now when it he's talking about my certification. I'm also certified in life coaching. Now there's a big difference between someone who's a life coach and someone who's a certified life coach. Okay, and I'm sure we're gonna get into that. I would love to. And I'm here for all the smoke.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_00Um, and so the school that I worked at invested in me to get that life coaching certification because I didn't even know it, but that's how I taught. Growing up, um I was a kid who always asked questions and I was almost and I was like almost shunned for it. Um, welcome to the 90s. And and um, and growing up in college, then I was praised for it. And so it completely pivoted my perspective on learning and teaching. And and so when I got in in front of kids, I said I would never, I would never shame a kid for asking the question, and I'll never give them answers. I want them to figure it out and connect, not even knowing that that's essentially what life coaching is. And I did it with factors and multiples. Now I just do it with process. And so um while I was going through my certification as a life coach, it's just made sense as a professional athlete, someone who's had multiple injuries and have has rehabbed his body throughout the years and loves the weight room. Why not teach people how to move properly in a with a different approach?
SPEAKER_01I'm excited to get into all aspects of your business. Let's do it. But let's start off, let's double back to that question though. 2025 was heavy.
SPEAKER_00Who are you? Oh, so who are you right now? Oh man, 2025 was the hardest year of my life and it was the most enjoyable at the same time.
SPEAKER_01Do tell.
SPEAKER_00So um, I started the year off totaling my car to kidney bean um in February, February 15th, no, February 22nd, 2025. Um, I was actually on a date. And um the young lady, the young lady's fine. Um, I had the mom arm bar and everything.
SPEAKER_01Did you catch it? What's the date? Tell us.
SPEAKER_00What some of us don't know.
SPEAKER_01Some of us don't know what a date is.
SPEAKER_00Oh, so um it was actually a whole day planned. I was actually, she's gonna be my plus one to an opening of a beauty bar. Uh one of my clients, uh, she was opening a beauty bar, she was my plus one. Then we're gonna go to Ruggles Black.
unknownOkay.
SPEAKER_00Um, but we just went to Ruggles Black. But anyway, total my car, and then I was carless and up until August. And the reason why I say it was the most enjoyable was because God really showed himself. I never felt like I was without a car because my clients, my community, they stepped in and was like, yo, they they're helping, yes, they're helping me. They recognized the assignments that I had during that time were important enough for them to help me, fulfill them. My community being there for me and also going through the ebbs and flows of the financial strain of entrepreneurship, especially the first three to five years. Um I learned I learned a lot. Um, not within business, I learned a lot about myself. I learned a lot about what I find important for people to be around. And I also learned a lot about um looking through life with perspective, not necessarily perception. Um because you never know what people are going through.
SPEAKER_01Help me understand that. Looking through life with perspective rather than perception. Tell me what you mean by that.
SPEAKER_00So I can have a perception of something, right? Or a perception of how somebody may do something, right? But I want to look through what's their perspective on why that behavior happened.
SPEAKER_01So basically, not lean into your own understanding, right? Very churchy.
SPEAKER_00There's always a route, yeah, yeah, yeah. And give grace to that route.
unknownYeah.
SPEAKER_01Thank you for sharing that story. And while you were talking, I actually got brought back to what you were saying earlier, which is kind of finding peace through acceptance. I, you know, I'm a clinician, so I just like to tie things together a little bit. Even with the situation with your car accident and like navigating entrepreneurship and all these things, you didn't do it on your own.
SPEAKER_00No.
SPEAKER_01So a part of that acceptance thing, I think sometimes, especially like when I sit with people, when I talk to groups, whatever, we talk about these terms like acceptance, like finding peace as these solo journeys, right? But I think what you just exemplified is that in your hero's journey, there are people along the way who show up and assist and guide you to that place where you can access acceptance, access peace, et cetera, et cetera. I love that.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. There's always, there's always um, what do they say, circumstances are God's way of staying anonymous. So you never know how you better give us these quotes. No, I mean, so you never know how God's gonna present himself.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_00And you never know how we're gonna be used as a tool, whether we know it or not. And that goes for accepting. And so one my life is not my own, right? I remind myself of that all the time. And because of that, who am I to deny help that someone's giving me? And that's something, that's a lesson that is tough. Yeah, you know, 15 millimeter for sure, right? And and and then you also have to remind yourself that, bro, this ain't about you.
SPEAKER_01Oh, so you came to preach.
SPEAKER_00Uh, this is how I remind myself of this every day.
SPEAKER_01Okay, yeah.
SPEAKER_00You know, which allows me to enjoy it and like well, you know what?
SPEAKER_01Since you already stepped into your life coach bag, let's just take it down the road.
SPEAKER_00All right.
SPEAKER_01A few episodes uh ago last year, yeah, myself and the fabulous Dr. Shun had a conversation about just like different mental health professionals, wellness professionals, and we talked about life coaches. And I didn't, I don't think I said anything too wild, but I remember when she asked me, would I ever seek out a life coach? I was like, Well, how can you help me coach my life? Yeah, it's a little proud. It's a little proud. That's okay. I'll own it. I'll own it. We're here. But here you are, right? I said that I would love to sit with a life coach to kind of talk about the process. Um, and here you are already speaking words and dropping gems into my lap, the listener's lap. I would love for us to jump into that. What is a life coach? And you also said you got smoked. So you said you're a certified life coach.
SPEAKER_00Right, right.
SPEAKER_01And there's a difference between that and I guess an uncertified right.
SPEAKER_00Someone that just says it now. To be clear, I'm saying life coach, the profession of life coaching isn't a um, what am I trying to say? A um, it's not overseen by a federation, but there is a federation within the profession. It just doesn't have the it is it's not the monopoly. It's not a monopoly. One thing, it's not a it's not like you have to go through this in order to be called a life coach.
SPEAKER_01So when you say federation, it's like psychologists who have like the APA or medical doctors who have the AMA. Right. Okay.
SPEAKER_00It's not like that, but there is a federation within it. It's just not regulated solely by them.
SPEAKER_01Okay.
SPEAKER_00However, those people who are looking for a life coach, nine times out of ten, they're going to see if you are certified through this federation. Okay.
unknownNow.
SPEAKER_01And the pro tip for those who don't know about it, right? So, like if you're looking for a life coach, ask about certain.
SPEAKER_00You can there is a there uh there is a it's I think it's called the Life Coaching Federation. You can go through there and you can look up certified life coaches. Now, there are those who just call themselves life coaches because they like talking to giving people advice. I'm here to where this is my camera. If you are looking for a life coach and they give you answers, they are not a life coach. Flat out.
SPEAKER_01Say it again.
SPEAKER_00If you are looking for a life coach and you have a life coach and they give you answers, that nullifies their title as a life coach. Life coaching has nothing to do with someone who is hired to give you answers. We are trained to listen and observe cues to know which and which questions to ask to help the client get to their own answer. A life coach's sole purpose is to empower someone to answer their own questions. Anyone that comes to you and says, I got the answers for this, they're goofy.
unknownOkay. Not goofy.
SPEAKER_01Okay.
SPEAKER_00And and and I'm here for it.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_00As someone who's through COVID, went through and uh you uh it's called YCI, Youth Coaching Institute. You can look it up, Dr. Mazzola, she's amazing. Had client had uh um classmates from Romania, Israel, Japan, all on all on this course and completely changed my perspective on what a life coach was, because a lot of people don't know because there's yeah, you're kind of changing my perspective on what a life coach was and it's so interesting.
SPEAKER_01I was a little struck by how you said, you know, you listen and you kind of build skill around listening to figure out what questions to ask to help people get their own answers. I could see the parallel, not saying that life coaches and psychologists or life coaches and social workers and all those are the same, but I could see how they have similar elements, right? Which brings me back to another person who was a guest on this show who mentioned that all of these professions have certain skills that help people get to kind of this ultimate goal, right? Which is helping them answer very specific questions about their lived experience. Right. I appreciate that. Now you focus more so on youth. Am I correct in that?
SPEAKER_00So I focus, I focus more on youth development. Okay. And um and adults, um, I I don't necessarily feel comfortable training anybody or coaching anybody older than me.
unknownOkay.
SPEAKER_00I'm just being transparent about that. Yeah. Um, but like through college, young adulthood, and then I'll I I I cap it right there. Now I do use life coaching practices in my personal training as well. Sure. Um, which is probably where I use the majority of it.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. The reason why I kind of focused in on the youth aspect is because I kind of do see you as like this youth leader type person, and like reflected on how mentorship is so important, especially when we talk about youth who look like me and you, right? Like black youth. And so as a researcher, I kind of went to the data. There was a study in 2020 done in Canada, and they surveyed like over 2,000 black youth age like six to 18, really looking at the impact of mentorship on youth outcomes. Right. And some of the things that were found is that just the act of mentorship, maybe the act of coaching, right, can help youth navigate relationships better, can equip them with greater resilience to navigate the world and its life stressors better, can help facilitate independence, right? As they move away from kind of that home sphere into like the real world. And so there are just so many benefits. I'm curious about what your experience is coaching youth, right? And kind of what you've seen, what you've experienced in kind of that coaching process, right? Um, and how you've impacted them.
SPEAKER_00So I I'm I'm a stickler for words. So there's a mentorship side of it, and then there's a coaching side of it. Okay. And then there's an athletic coaching side of it.
SPEAKER_03Okay.
SPEAKER_00All right. Now, a majority of my experience has been mentoring, right? And so I had a nonprofit and and or I developed a nonprofit called the Pivot Six, and um, and I've coached, you know, won a state championship and things like that. So I've been around like young men all my, like damn near all my adult life. And one thing that I know is that I'm not here without my mentors. And I understand the importance of my generation specifically becoming mentors because we're the last of the bridge. We're the last generation to have the same, um, the same uh, we're the last of the generation to grow up similar like their parents. You know what I'm saying? We had spelling tests, we had chalkboards, we had school buses, we we had, you know, people, you know, stealing our bikes. We we we had all that.
SPEAKER_01Stealing bikes.
SPEAKER_00You know, we had similar experiences, you know. And um, and I think that there's a there's a big need for young men to be able to express how they feel without any consequence. And which is why I'm developing that mentorship program at level one, which is why my North Star is young is male mentorship, um, because I know how important that was for me, and I know how much I needed it, um, especially through self-identity and basketball and sports and things like that. Um and so I when I whenever I come in contact with a young man, or even a young lady, like I trained, just trained this weekend, I let them know first off, this is a safe space. And I'm gonna be warm and demanding. Yeah, I'm gonna listen to you. But there's there isn't there is a standard. And um and we're gonna work you up to that.
SPEAKER_01You make me want to switch gears, so I'm just going to do it with my gut, right? Because you said something I don't want to misquote you, but it's like you want to give young men the opportunity to feel, express how they feel without consequence, right? Right. This season with the kickoff of this new year is actually a continuation of a season of Rose and Thorns that never got to be. Right. In that season, it was like season three. I really wanted to spend intentional time speaking to other men, right, about their emotions, how they show up, specifically in relationship, how they show up in the world, some of the things that they are doing well, and some of the things that they are kind of like working to figure out. And the title of the season was a little, a little shaky, right? It was called Men Are Unwell. Right. Um, okay. But I wanted to shift that a little bit, okay, right? Just to have a more compassionate lens because I think we're all unwell, right? We just came out of 2025. But I do think there is space to acknowledge that men are healing, right? And throughout this talk, we have talked about how we got to know each other. You have become like a great friend, a great acquaintance, a great fraternity brother. And I think the reason why I lean into our friendship, right, is because the way that you show up emotionally, it's not, it doesn't feel hard, it doesn't feel violent, right? It's really gentle. Chill, fun, free. Like there is just, I know that somebody has poured into you, right? Or like you have done some personal work. Right. And it just, you know, I'm a person who does a lot of research around just like manhood, masculinity, sexuality, gender. And, you know, Bell Hooks has a book called We Real Cool talking about the ways that black men and boys are socialized in this world. And to hear you kind of really pull and go against like a lot of the ways that black men and boys are socialized and giving them a space to, you know, share how they feel, share what they're thinking, how what they're experiencing without consequence. I have been sitting on this curiosity for the longest. Who poured into you and shaped your idea of manhood? Of who shaped your relationship with your emotions and your ability to show up so freely and intentionally? It's really powerful. Nah. And you don't see it often.
SPEAKER_00Um that that's a loaded question. Yeah. Okay.
SPEAKER_01I ask a lot of them all that way.
SPEAKER_00Now, now thank you for that. So um I grew up with my dad in the house. I want to, I want that to be clear. Um, my dad, however, was a stand-up comic and he traveled a lot. And so early, I I took the reins of like, you know, making holding down the Ford a little bit. And um, and I learned a lot of patience early when it came to growing up with my mom and sister in the house. You never know who you were, like literally, you never knew who you were gonna get. And um, and growing up, I was quiet but really observant. And I was extremely observant about how people used to talk about my grandfather. Never met my grandfather, both my mom's parents passed before she was 27.
unknownOkay.
SPEAKER_00So hearing those stories, meeting my uncle Pop Pop, which is his brother, as a as a young kid, just seeing how he was respected, growing up, seeing how my dad used to command the stage when he was on stage, and how he was respected at the cruise ships, and seeing how my pastor, Reverend Bracie, how he was respected when Reverend Jess Reverend Al Sharpton used to come, and Julian Bond used to come, and how he used to used to be a man of the people. You know, we we learned if if you can walk with Kings nor lose your common touch, like I didn't have context to that then, but that's that was my North Star. Want to be able to spit watermelon seeds at the cookout and be at a black tie event and be the same person. So growing up, the more experiences you have, you mess up, but then it's like, okay, I don't want to be this person in this space. So I was really aware of how I wanted to present or how I wanted to feel in certain spaces. So when I went to college, I didn't want to feel like I was out of place when I went to parties. So I slowly exposed myself to, you know, more intense parties, but I didn't want to get thrown into the fire. I knew I was real aware of that. When it came to um like how I wanted to be respected by my peers, I knew that being honest was the North Star. Because growing up, it was like, bro, your breath stank right now. It's like, oh, well, you know, and that's what all my friendships are built on honesty and trust. And then when you grow up and you see that your parents didn't have it all figured out, you learn what not to do from your dad. Like, oh, this is what was going on as a as a kid. And then in college, you think you all that you cross, and and then you hit rock bottom when you're about to get fired from your on-campus job because you are blacked out drunk. Then you start reading. Brian Tracy, change your thinking, change your life. Put everything that I just told you into a funnel and it made everything clearer.
unknownYeah.
SPEAKER_00So I just started pulling pieces.
SPEAKER_01All those things that you mentioned that you did, right? It takes being able to just like navigate those social spaces, being able to show up in the ways that you do, it still takes a level of emotional intelligence. So am I hearing that you cultivated that emotional intelligence from the books you read?
SPEAKER_00Uh that's actually a good question. Sports helped me because I had to be realistic about my production. And then it it and then the discipline oozed into other parts of my life. So my discipline in basketball oozed into different parts of my life on on a scale that makes people uncomfortable. I haven't had French fries since 2011.
SPEAKER_01Wow.
SPEAKER_00Haven't had soda since seventh grade.
SPEAKER_01I'm sad for you.
SPEAKER_00So, but it's it's a decision. And once I did it with those things, it was like I can do it with other things. So when it came to emotional intelligence, it was like, yo, if I'm if I can control this and I don't have to react, I can respond, then why not choose to respond every single time? What's stopping me from doing that? And being realistic about that boundary.
SPEAKER_01So not just discipline, but commitment, which is commitment to understanding, like, which I guess it is a bump.
SPEAKER_00It's discipline, right? All comes back.
SPEAKER_01But like being clear about what your values are, and being realistic.
unknownYeah.
SPEAKER_00Because there's there's one, like, even when it came to like dating, I had to change my habits in order to change my outcome.
SPEAKER_01Oh, we'll get there. We'll get there. You know, because this season is called Men Are Healing, not Men Are Unwell.
SPEAKER_00Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_01But yeah, men are unwell. Okay. And my intention in having these conversations is to give men who are coming on this platform the opportunity to not only show how great they are, right? But also what are some of the challenges that they're having? Yeah. So I'm just gonna throw it at you. What are some of the challenges that you're having? We know you're emotionally intelligent, we know you can sew into people, right? We know that you facilitate a space for folks to share their emotions, right? And feel safe. But what are some of your growth edges?
SPEAKER_00Um, I'm working on smoothing the edges. Um looking at life through perspective, except except perception versus perception has allowed me to do that. Um, and that's an ongoing battle for me. Um, because um my whole thing is accountability, but I understand there's a certain everyone's process to being accountable is different, and I'm more um empathetic to that. Um I would say right now it's um I wouldn't necessarily say it's a challenge, but it's just um an area of growth. Yeah, area of growth, just continuing to build on this, on building my financial knowledge with this entrepreneurship and building on top of that. Um socially, I'm finally at a point where I'm good. Um, at least with the whole with the whole uh dating thing is not a challenge. Um I'm I think I'm straight. Yeah.
SPEAKER_01So um could I stop you real quick? Yeah. Okay. Do I have your consent to be a bit of a nosy girl?
SPEAKER_00No, for sure.
SPEAKER_01Okay, cool.
SPEAKER_00Cool, cool, cool.
SPEAKER_01I can appreciate the area of growth being financial, and I noticed that in this culture, right, just the society we live in, men revert to the material. Right. And that can be an area to avoid kind of like the deeper stuff, right? I hear that you're good. I'm not trying to set you up to be like, oh, your your relationships are shit. Like, no. Right. Right. Um, but I'm curious to get to the point of good, what are some of the things you had to confront? Right.
SPEAKER_00That's a good question. Um in order to get to the point where I'm at now, I had to be realistic about bad habits that I had.
SPEAKER_01Such as.
SPEAKER_00And um so when it socially, when it comes to dating, it was I was giving a lot of people chances, not really choosing. You know, I think there's a difference between someone being your choice versus someone you're giving a chance. And I was dating and giving people chances, and they weren't necessarily my choices, and it was yeah.
SPEAKER_01Is that like uh keeping an ambivalent space? So not really declaring what this is, but just like, no, we can try.
SPEAKER_00So I appreciate that. It's more of understanding that my interest is never gonna pass interest and get to like, but hoping that it gets to like. And I was moving. That's that's what chance versus choice means. Um versus someone you choose, like, oh nah this is it, you know.
SPEAKER_01All right, I'm getting nosy. What did that do to the other person, to the other woman?
SPEAKER_00Ah, it um so what it did was it created spaces of uncertainty rather quickly. And and as soon as I figured out that I wasn't sure I wanted to move forward, which is relatively quick, then I had those conversations relative, you know, then now this isn't something that goes for months. This is like maybe seven, eight days, and it's like, yo, I this ain't gone. You know, if it if it goes months, then there's something that's drastic that is that has happened to be like, uh, okay, this this this ain't this ain't gonna be a choice.
SPEAKER_01So I'll say shout out to you for keeping it set to seven, eight days, right? A week rather than months, because let's be real. Some people keep it for months, right? Right? This kind of ambivalent, yeah, I'm interested, right, but not really solidifying, hey, you are the person that I am wanting to be with, right? Yeah. What do you think, in your perspective, right? Right, what do you think keeps a person willing to stay in that ambivalent space or to kind of keep that ambivalent space going for more than that seven to eight days?
SPEAKER_00So I think there's a lot of people who are dating. I and I was doing this, dating under the lenses of hope. Like you hope this is gonna change, you hope this is gonna, you know, and um, and we're kind of encouraged to give people chances. Um, uh, you know, give them chances. They might be nervous. I don't know. I have been, you know, shoot, that's why I had to smooth out the edges. Like, oh, maybe they're nervous. Like, how nervous can you be and and do something like this, you know? But once again, you you don't know. So there's that, there's that side, then there's a side of people who just don't want to face not having access to somebody. And it's like, if I if I do this, then I ain't gonna be able to have this, you know. And they're just God forbid. And they but there's a lot of people who can't face that. Um not when I say this, I'm not giving excuse, I'm just giving perspective. No, no, no, thank you. Perspective.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, that's why you're here.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, um then you have the side of of those who actually have fun stringing people along. They just that's a that's a power dynamic, that's a power struggle. And um, and normally, hindsight, you you always see the signs of that, however, there's always some level of hope from the other side, or um bad habits of listening instead of watching. Or maybe it's a um you just don't can't catch the signs. There's something, but there's there's always a sign.
SPEAKER_01And I think what you're getting at is that there it's a two-person or more dynamic, right? Right, right. So it takes all parties to kind of keep that months-long thing. For sure. But I appreciate you for owning kind of the different motivations for keeping that going, right? Because I don't think we often have very honest conversations around that.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, and and especially if you give if someone gives access too soon to something that someone enjoys, it's gonna be longer because they're gonna enjoy it as long as they don't have to commit to it.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, you know, so get as much as you can out of it. Mercy, help us. Right. I appreciate you for spending this time with me, spending this time on the show. For men, because I'm gonna pull your life coach skills a little bit. Let's do it for men who, and I know you don't give answers, but based on your experience, I just want to invite you into the space. For men who are hoping to build relationship with folks, right? Knowing that we have tons of growth edges. What is a recommendation or a piece of advice that you would have for them?
SPEAKER_00I just had a conversation with a guy with uh someone in the gym about this the other day. I said, one, you gotta learn to like yourself first and then learn to love yourself second.
SPEAKER_01You trying to come back? I I love that's another conversation.
SPEAKER_00I love I love doing podcasts. And um, like I I used to watch the Proud Family, and she said, uh Sigma Mama was like, sometimes, you know, sometimes what we said, sometimes I don't like you, but I always love you, right? But I do think like is big is bigger than love. Um it's really hard to um to be who you are for friendship if you don't like who you are. Now, not to say that friendship is not possible, however, you have to exerc confidence is a muscle you have to exercise. And so you have to exercise um some way of learning to like yourself, to love yourself, to then be able to give that to other people. Um yeah, uh you gotta you gotta take care of home. And and sometimes, sometimes the effort you show in taking care of home will bring the community along. Most times.
SPEAKER_01Fair.
SPEAKER_00Most times. And um, yeah, if someone sees you're trying to, you're you're improving, you're you're putting that effort in. Like I don't know a lot of people who don't like to offer help to someone who wants to help themselves.
unknownYeah. Fair.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. Fair.
SPEAKER_01Like yourself first.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_01And we can't let the proud family go. You and me. Well, it's me.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, yeah. Family every single day and night. I ain't gonna melody right now.
SPEAKER_01You know, I love that.
SPEAKER_00I don't know if that was an E flat. That was like the T. I don't know.
SPEAKER_01Well, we are certainly winding down this episode, but one thing I always like us to pivot into. See what I did there? Pivot. Appreciate you. Is a section called Let's Spin the Rose Bottle. Let's spin it. Spin it spin. Okay. I have spent this entire time asking you question upon question, getting in your business, digging deeper and deeper. I want to always give my guests the opportunity to ask me one thing, right? And I have to give an answer.
SPEAKER_00Okay. Um what's a habit that's a non-negotiable that you have to apply in 2026?
SPEAKER_01A habit that's a non-negotiable that I have to apply in 2026. So something that I must do. That you must do. I must do. Stay the course.
SPEAKER_00I could not explain that as if I was a uh fifth grader.
SPEAKER_01Even if you feel afraid, even if you feel like what you are creating or going after is trash or unattainable or just not gonna work out, see it to the end. Be clear about what the end is and see it to that end.
SPEAKER_00So in personal training, we um Not you digging deeper.
SPEAKER_01No, no, no, no, no. Because because Yeah, yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_00So in personal training, the most um the chapter that stood out the most to me was uh helping clients plan for the lapses. And so how do you plan for the lapses?
SPEAKER_01Not you asking two questions, that's a one.
SPEAKER_00Okay, not be, you know, because because it's layered, you know. I like I like to get to detailed answers. So how?
SPEAKER_01How am I planning for the lapses?
SPEAKER_00Right.
SPEAKER_01Well, I guess there are different spheres, right? So I think there are like financial ways that I can plan, right? Not to stick too much to the material, but some of these things I have for myself cost, right? Um, so working my ass off like I typically do to make sure that there's a nest egg there. Um, how do I plan for the mental lapses?
SPEAKER_00That's that's more of it.
SPEAKER_01In the times when things are good, like really make use of those times, right? So, so, so, so that in times when things feel a little heavy or weary, I can maybe afford myself a little break because I have things in the storehouse that I can pull from. Um physically, how do I prepare for the lapses? Kind of like the same thing, right? Just make sure that in the times of plenty, like kind of like the story of Joseph, you are filling up the storehouse so that in the times of lack you can pull from that. That's the plan I got now. We'll see if it changes. Check back with me in April. Anyway, I don't know. Theo, I appreciate you so much. Thank you, thank you, thank you for coming onto the show. Before we let you go, right, um, feel free to share with the people uh where they can find you, your social medias, et cetera, et cetera.
SPEAKER_00So uh got two different social media platforms. Personal, uh, I am Theo Knightis, uh business, the pivot coach, who I offer life coaching and uh personal training services, um, any anything from weightlifting to sports specific. I did play professional basketball. Now, when it comes to the ideal client for life coaching specifically, it is uh young men, college age, younger. Um, the youngest I'll go is middle school. And an ideal client is someone who wants to do change and do something different. They just don't know how to map that out. And my job is to make the um the path clear by asking questions, which a real life coach does.
unknownNice.
SPEAKER_01Thank you again so much for coming on. Love bugs. Thanks for listening. I will see you next time. Bye.