Rosé + Thorns
Join Dr. P. Ryan and friends in unpacking the highs and lows of life, culture, and relationships—open conversations with no off-limits topics.
Rosé + Thorns
Be Strong & Courageous (feat. @newsladytay)
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As we’re navigating this season of thanks, I’ll say that I’m thankful for guests like Taylor Jay who aren’t afraid to come on #rosentpod and be completely vulnerable. I soooo enjoyed chatting about faith, hard work, hard times, and self-care. Get into this conversation with my favorite news anchorESS! 🖤
She's real cute in that that glass though. I like it.
SPEAKER_00Oh, thank you. I chill my champagne flutes.
SPEAKER_01Okay. Because at first I was like, is that like a frosty look that it came with? But no.
SPEAKER_00It's ice.
unknownYou ready?
SPEAKER_00Roseanne Thorns. Hey Love Bugs and welcome to another episode of the Roseanne Thorns podcast. Now listen, we over this camp, we stand Gail King. But Gail King, move over because I am sitting down with the child of God, a news anchor or anchoress. Should we say a news anchoress?
SPEAKER_01I like anchorettes. Okay.
SPEAKER_00And podcaster, everybody, please give a warm Roseanne Thorns welcome to Taylor Johnson, aka Mr. Hello Joe.
SPEAKER_01Oh my god. This is great. And that was a great introduction. I felt that in my soul. I love it. Come on. Come on.
SPEAKER_00Thank you for taking time out of your busy day to be with us.
SPEAKER_01Yes, yes. Well, actually, this is my day off. Thank God. So Amen.
SPEAKER_00So you're rested.
SPEAKER_01Yes, R and R.
SPEAKER_00Yes. I am not as rested. I shared with you earlier how the weekend wore me out, but I'm grateful, you know, happy to be here, staying safe, doing what we need to do.
SPEAKER_01Yes. I mean, we are very blessed. Like I was just looking at um NBC Nightly News. And, you know, every day there's something about COVID. And today it was a story about um really long lines at food banks. And I was just sitting, you know, at the dinner table, like, you know, I'm just so grateful that that has not have had to be my reality, you know, that I'm searching for food or that I can't provide for myself during this very difficult time, you know. Um, and there are so many people out there that are really struggling right now. And um, you know, I just can't help but think just how blessed we really are.
SPEAKER_00Yes, yes. And it's so wild because I think, you know, I hear especially the stories about the food banks. I'm hearing it from you. I've heard it from sources like my parents, and I could be blind because I feel like I watch the news, but I'm not seeing that as displayed as much as like other things that come up.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. And, you know, it's it's a it's an interesting time with that. I think, and especially like on the local level, because you know, I mean like doing local news right now. Um, we've been trying to pivot away from COVID stuff as much as we were in the beginning, just to try to give people something different, you know, um a little bit more, something a little bit more meaningful, a little bit more hopeful. Um, you know, it's just it's an interesting time. I'm so ready for 2020 to wrap up in stop.
SPEAKER_00And me both. I pray that the situation changes across the board because 2021 is supposed to bring amazing things. And so hopefully they come through. But enough about the anticipation because we have you here with us. We usually start the show off by having the guests come and share a little bit about themselves. Tell the people about yourself.
SPEAKER_01Okay, let me give the cliff notes. I feel like I have like the longest life story. I mean, that's fine.
SPEAKER_00You can give the long version, we'll just talk.
SPEAKER_01But as P. Ryan said, I am Taylor J. I am from Prince George's County, Maryland, in the DMV. I never let anybody forget it. I'm out here all the time wearing my University of Maryland stuff, GoTurp. I'm wearing well, I don't have Washington football team stuff yet, so I still wear my red skin stuff. I wear that too. You know, just I'm just very proud of where I'm from. Um went to Wise High School in PG County. So I'm PG County through and through, even college. We went to the University of Maryland. And um, interestingly enough, when I went to Maryland, um, we did not know each other. Okay. I don't think we met until I was trying to figure that out.
SPEAKER_00Good. Okay. Mm-hmm.
SPEAKER_01Yes, no. So we so we did know each other, but we are Turp fam, of course. Yes. Um, so I studied broadcast journalism, and ever since I was young, I always just had a passion for the news industry. Um, and it's it's been, I guess, I've experienced it in different forms. So um, newspaper, I did internships with magazines, podcasting, blogging, um, and then now doing it in the form of local news in Indiana. That's a little further down. So um graduated from college and then I moved to Lynchburg, Virginia, two years or so after that, and worked as a digital content producer for an ABC affiliate there. And then after that, I moved to where I am now, which is called Terre Haute, Indiana, one hour outside of Indianapolis, where I'm a reporter and an anchor. And it's funny, tomorrow is a year um from the date that I filled in as an anchor for the first time. So it's really crazy how like everything has moved so quickly. Um, but I'm a lover of pop culture and lifestyle and entertainment. Like, that's all me. Um, shout out to the Remedy Podcast and my girls Nikki C and Antoinette. We did um, we had a podcast together that actually started in 2016. We've been on a hiatus for a while, but that was all things pop culture, politics, um, just life in general. You know, that's just what I love. That's what I'm passionate about. Why um Real Housewives Stan. Okay. Like, period. Bravo Stan.
SPEAKER_00Um, have you already watched Salt Lake City?
SPEAKER_01I did watch Salt Lake City. I need to watch it again because there's a lot to unpack.
SPEAKER_00And it was so good. It was so good. But just off of just the general perception, who are we standing for? Who could we do without?
SPEAKER_01I like Jen.
SPEAKER_00Um, you like Jen?
SPEAKER_01I like Jen and her family, but that's why I said I need to watch it again because I need to go back. But from first look, I liked Jen. I think I liked Lisa. Everyone else I kind of forgot about, and Mary, she's just something else, you know.
SPEAKER_00You and I are on the same page. I yeah, before watching, I thought I was gonna stand for Mary, but I'm starting to love Lisa. Um, Jen is cool, there's a lot of plastic surgery going on. We have to unpack.
SPEAKER_02Oh, definitely.
SPEAKER_00Um but she's she's a good central figure for the show. And so I'm super excited. Now, I'm glad you called out the fact that we actually didn't meet while at Maryland. We met after the fact. Um, I was a guest, as you mentioned, on your show, The Remedy, The Remedy Podcast. An amazing show, and I can't wait for it to come back. Shout out again to Nakara and Tony. Um but one thing that I have, and we've built our relationship kind of from The Remedy, but one thing that I absolutely stand, regardless of how we met, was just your story. I've always been inspired by your story and the way you really highlight the aspects of faith and works in your journey.
SPEAKER_01You know, faith is first of all, thank you. I really appreciate that. And I still need to get like just get used to, you know, people kind of speaking to me in that way of like talking about like how inspired they are. Um, like we have younger reporters at my station, and they're like, oh, I look up to you and I want to do what you do. And I'm not gonna lie, like that's still very weird to me. Like because I still see myself as the person that is trying to, you know, um find my way. And I'm seeking out mentors still and things like that, you know. So that's that takes some getting used to. Um, but I really, I really appreciate hearing that, you know, because it's just nothing but um the glory of the Lord being shown to me, you know, the way that I see it. But faith has always been an important part of my life, and I did not grow up in the church or anything like that. I just had always gravitated toward having a relationship with with God. And I mean, all of these major moves that I have made, especially in terms of um relocating, they always were rooted in a scripture. So I was working at a nonprofit when I graduated from college in DC. Um, because when I graduated from school, I was not prepared to be a reporter. So you're supposed to have like a newsreel, and um, none of my internships were in broadcast or anything like that. So I kind of felt like that was a sign that maybe I was supposed to go down a different path. Um, and so I love social media and digital stuff too. So I took a job as a I forgot what that title was, but basically like a social media producer and um doing the website and sending out like mass emails to the membership at this nonprofit. And it was fun for what it was, you know, young professional, Starbucks every morning, riding the subway, you know, it was cute. Um, but then I was starting to get a little unfulfilled, and I was like, okay, this isn't what I want to do. Like my real passion is news. But in the meantime, while I was working there, I was still um blogging and stuff. So there's a woman, excuse me, her name is Joy Marie McKenzie, and I owe her so much. She's a terp also, and she had a blog called The Fab Empire, and the Fab Empire had B More Fab and DC Fab. And so I worked under the DC Fab umbrella, and I would go to different events and um write reviews on them. So, and one of them happened to be the Real Housewives of Potomac Season 2 premiere. They had the party at um, it was some club, I forget the name of that club, but it's by Echo Stage. And um, like so I would go and do stuff like that, like go to the event, talk to the people, and then write it for the blog. So I'm still, you know, honing honing in on my skills. And also while I was working at that job is when we started the podcast. So I was still making sure that I was like getting my hand in media um just to keep it fresh.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_01But when it came time for me to get ready to go to Lynchburg, um, you know, I just started to feel a little unsettled. I was kind of starting to feel like signs of depression, like I would come to work, and it was like at least once a day, I'm going into the little, we called it the quiet room. I'm going in the quiet room and you know, calling my grandmother crying because I'm just upset, like, you know, I was just dreading going to work. I was just miserable. And I believe at that time that was probably the Lord, you know, kind of getting my attention, like, okay, we need to get ready to move to the next level.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_01Um, and so with that being said, my pastor at the time, he told me to go on a fast for 30 days. And so um, I told him I would do it. And he told me to like fast from social related things. I wasn't going out, and I was just, you know, kind of getting before the Lord and just trying to figure out what he wanted me to do. And I would say maybe about halfway through that, I had gotten an email from the station that I work from in Lynchburg. And so I had applied to jobs, but I was only applying to jobs in like the DMV area. So I believe this Lynchburg one, I must have applied to it by accident because I had never heard of Lynchburg before.
SPEAKER_02Oh wow.
SPEAKER_01But I had gotten an email and they were saying that um, you know, we we got your application and we would love to do an interview with you. And so initially I was going to turn it down because, like I had just mentioned, I had never heard of Lynchburg, so I don't know how they had gotten my application. But I went ahead and I did it. And um, you know, long story short, I had gotten the job, but then I was still conflicted on like, well, what should I do? And the verse that kept popping up like clockwork was Joshua 1, 9, be strong and courageous, do not be afraid or dismay. The Lord your guide is with you wherever you go. And it was like every time I turned around, I saw that scripture. And then there's another version of it, or like another um, yeah, another version of it in like Deuteronomy. So I just kept, you know, coming across those two. So I kind of took that as a sign. So I'm like, okay, Lord, you know, if this is what you're telling me to do, you know, make a way for me. And I've historically I've never been good with money, so I did not have money to move. But I had gotten to a point at my job where I was able to go into my 401k, which is a bad, a bad thing to do, but I was also like 23, so it was okay. I had like $5,000 in there, which was more than enough for me to like pick up and move. I didn't have to, you know, ask for help or anything like that. It was just a smooth transition. And so when I moved to Lynchburg and I got my apartment, you know, I went to TJ Maxx, go shopping for accessories. And so when I went to the home section, the first thing I saw was a wall hanging that had Joshua 1.9 on it. And I was just like, cool, I made the right decision.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_01This this was a God-led move to me.
SPEAKER_00And spirit will totally confirm when we're moving in the right direction. Now, Lynchburg was you becoming a stranger in a strange land, right? You're physically isolated. We were talking before we started taping about how so many people are complaining about being, you know, social distance or isolated and quarantine, but we're kind of in our own little apartments, us by ourselves. And there's kind of like this isolation factor that we live with from day to day, right? Quarantine or not. I know that that Bible verse when you were shopping kind of confirmed, okay, I'm in the right place. But I'm so curious, what has isolation or just being alone taught you in this season?
SPEAKER_01I would have to say, in this season, and I'm I'm also just gonna say, like, I clump Lynchburg and Terra Haute as just like one big season because even though they have their, even though they have their different elements, it's all the same thing. And like with here being in Indiana, I'm even further away. But what it has taught me is that I can I can stand on my own too. Um, you know, as I had mentioned, I think this was before we started recording, I had talked about how I was not always an assertive person, you know. Um I'm a a Pisces, you know, water sign. I'm emotional and you know, I like to be up under people, and um, I don't like to be alone. But I think for not only the industry that I'm in, but just also life in general, it's important for me to learn to be independent and to be able to provide for myself and to defend myself and to also just learn to be with myself. Um you know, I've growing up, I've always been like up under my grandmother all the time. Um, when I went off to school, you know, I still have my friends and everything. So just being in a foreign place, um, PG County, you know, is very black, and Lynchburg was very white. You know, even though I went to the University of Maryland, but I was still in my bubble, you know. So it was just like getting into an environment like that. And then there's also going from the city to rural, I can never say this word, country. I'm just gonna say country America. Yes, R-U-R-A-L, y'all know that word. Um, but that's that kind of a America, conservative America. Um, you know, it was just different. And I will have to say that like I was most proud of myself in the Lynchburg part of the season because, you know, I had my own apartment, I was paying my own bills, you know, I had my car, like just doing everything, being able to do everything for myself and to see like, you know what, you aren't a doll, you are a woman, you have the capacity to do these things and accomplish these things, and you don't always need to depend on somebody. You don't always need to call home for help. If you know, you can you can do it. You can be strong, you can be independent, it's possible.
SPEAKER_00It sounds really affirming and kind of like reassuring in in your own strength.
SPEAKER_01Yes, yes, absolutely.
SPEAKER_00Now you made a distinction though between being assertive on the job and kind of being assertive um at home. You said that you've been able to kind of I mean your physical home, not with family, right? That you were able to kind of build that assertiveness across the board. How does that assertiveness look different in like professional life versus personal life? And how were you able to kind of boost that assertiveness in both spheres? Because I know it for some people it can be harder in one aspect rather than another.
SPEAKER_01I would have to say it's probably, man, I'm trying to think which one would I say would be harder? I would definitely probably have to say in the professional setting because it involves other people. I think being assertive at home is me dealing, you know, just with myself and making decisions, you know, for my everyday life because, you know, I'm still a single person, you know, I don't have like kids or husband or anything like that. So I think that that's a little easier. I believe personally, I've become more assertive with myself in terms of saying, look, Taylor, you like you need to develop some discipline in these areas. If you want to grow, if you want to have long-term success and be comfortable and things like that, you need to get this together, you need to get that together. And it's really being honest with myself instead of allowing myself to um, you know, to or continue to make excuses for things, you know, like or putting things off and stuff like that. Um, you know, like I had mentioned before, my my downfall has always been my um ability to stay or to save money. Like finances has always been hard and I've never been taught financial literacy. But one way that I've had to assert myself personally is to buckle down on that. And thankfully I'm starting to see the fruits of it and it feels good, you know. So it's like it's always a positive payoff, I feel like when you are assertive. Now, in the workplace, it's different because you know, I'm I've always been one that just wants to get along with everybody and you know, let's be friends and you know, all that. So when people are not nice to you for no reason, you know, or you sense people are competing with you or trying to, you know, knock you down, that's when you have to learn, hey, let me let me boss up a little bit.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, let me show you what the deal is, let me tell you what time it is.
SPEAKER_01Right. But for me to get to that point, I had to go through some things. So if we rewind back to Witchburg, um, I was working behind the scenes there as a digital producer. So kind of doing what I was doing in DC, social media, writing web articles, things like that. Because I needed to get my foot in the door. I wasn't prepared to be a reporter because I didn't have what I needed out of school. So it was like, okay, let me take what I had, these blogs, you know, the blogging experience, stuff like that, use it to my advantage to get into a news station. So I was doing that. And while I was doing those things, I was also trying to work myself to be a reporter. So that meant taking um time after work to go out and shoot like little fake stories and fake live shots and stuff to make a demo real. Because I wanted to be a reporter and I let my news director know that that's what my goal was. But at that time, um, there weren't any openings. So if we go to the start of, I guess it was early 2019. Yes, because I moved here in 2019. So early 2019, um, two positions had opened at the station in Lynchburg. There was a married couple that worked there as reporters and they decided to move on. And so my news director he came to me and he told me that um these positions were open. And he was like, you know, I want you to apply. I know that you're interested. So I wanted to make sure that I told you first. So I'm like, yes, my time is here. Thank you, Jesus. You know, I'm just like really excited. And so I applied for the position, and you know, I give my news director my reel, and he said he thought it was good, you know, like I'm thinking I had a chance, right?
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_01So in the company, in most news companies, you have to have been an employee for at least a year before you can transition to another role. So there was a young lady who was working um at the station, and she was only there for three months. And I noticed that they had interviewed her too. And so when I saw them interview her, I thought it was a little sketchy, but I was like, let me just mind my business. You know, it's two positions, so whatever. So time was going by. This was, I think, in February, I interviewed, and it had to be done within a certain period because the assistant news director was going on maternity leave the next month. So they had to hurry even make a decision before she left. So time was going by and I wasn't hearing anything. And so one day, um, the young lady who they also interviewed, they she went into my news director's office and they were in there for a long time. So I was starting to get worried. Like, what are they talking about? You know, but then also, you know, being the faith person, I'm like, okay, you know, I'm just gonna continue to believe and hope for the best and da-da-da-da-da-da, you know, affirm trying to affirm myself. And so I went home that day, and it was either that day or the next day. I went on the job board for the company because I would always go and just see what's out there. And I saw that the position that she was working in at that time was placed on the job board as the opening, as an open position now. And that's when I picked up that they gave her the job. But he never told me that I didn't get it. So, and I don't think that they were going to, to be quite frank with you. So I I went to his office, you know, and I was like, let me frame this. You know, we make this professional and let me not be the angry black woman or attack or point fingers or whatever. So I just went in there and I asked him, um, you know, what's the status of my application? And he said to me, well, he closed the door. So that's how I knew, okay, he's about to say something I'm probably not gonna like. He closes the door and he's like, Well, we feel like you need a little bit more experience. And I already knew that I was a bunch of bull crap because you could probably guess what my competition looked like.
SPEAKER_00Oh, yeah. I already had a visual.
SPEAKER_01And we also had the same first name, which really I hated that. But you know, he told me that, and I didn't react or anything, you know, I just said thank you. And I went home and I pounded the pavement. Like I started applying that day. And I just kept applying and I kept applying and I kept applying. And you know, it's hard to find a job, especially in in news, it's just so competitive when you want to be on air. Um, but eventually the job that I had it came through. Yeah, and I didn't I didn't apply for that one either. Um, I was just putting my stuff out in Facebook groups, and my boss found me, and um, you know, he said, Hey, we have a job here in Indiana. And at first I was not checking for it because I wanted to go to a city, but I felt the Lord speak to me and say to go, and I came and it's been good. Um, it's been a lot of sacrifice though. But um the instance that I just shared taught me to be assertive here because um right now I'm a weekend anchor. Um, and I was promoted to that in June. I started filling in as a weekend anchor last November because um the weekend anchor then had gotten promoted to another role. And so when I was filling in, I would get told, okay, after this weekend, you know, this is gonna be the deciding factor that you're gonna get the job. You know, we're gonna look at your stuff and this will determine it. And every weekend, I just kept getting hearing that over and over again to the point where it went from November to being March. And, you know, I flat out and asked, you know, do you think that there's an opportunity or a chance that I'll get this role? And it never seemed like I got a concrete answer. And so um something else that unfolded to that made me decide, you know what, I'm not, you know, I feel like all of this stress that I'm putting on myself to try to prove myself to someone or make them think or to see that I'm worthy of this position. Like if you don't see it already, then you're not gonna see it for me, which is okay. So I'm just going to, you know, continue crafting my skill and you can give it to someone else. So I went to my boss's office and I told him that I did not want the role anymore, that I will continue to um fill in and help, but I would like to put my focus on reporting. And I think that he was very shocked by that. Um, but for me, it was also a powerful position, and I felt very good because for one, I felt like I was really standing up for myself and not letting someone kind of wiggle me around and do whatever they wanted to do, you know, for the for the sake of, I guess, keeping up what they needed to keep up business or whatever. You know, I've been working really hard and I'm just like, you know, if you don't see it now, if you don't see my worth, someone else will. So let me just go ahead and continue to hone in on my skills to and and you know, move on to the next person because first of all, you know, I know that this isn't going to be my last stop, you know, and there are still other ways for me to grow and develop versus trying to beat myself just to try to get a position behind the desk, you know.
SPEAKER_00Absolutely. And I will say this assertiveness, this hard work that you've put in, it's not only in the service of reaffirming, okay, you're doing what needs to be done, it's also led to some amazing accomplishments. So we are on the heels. Is it on the heels when you're on the back end? We just had a presidential election, right? And not only were you someone who had in mind, I'm just gonna take the tweet that you said, Ephesians 3.20, last presidential election. I wasn't in news, yet I knew by the next one I wanted to be. Not only was I able to report on a big local election earlier this week, I got to anchor, okay, hashtag hashtag anchorest. I was able to anchor the results of this historic race. I'll never take this moment for granted. In addition to this, while you were anchoring the race, you also had a moment in this season where you interviewed a senator.
SPEAKER_01Governor.
SPEAKER_00Governor, yes. Come on, official.
SPEAKER_01Yes, I got to interview the governor um and his opponents. He ended up winning. Um, but I mean, those were especially, especially being able to sit at the desk and say, whoever, even if Trump won again, but we thank God that he didn't.
SPEAKER_02Amen.
SPEAKER_01Even if he did win again, like that still just would have been a big moment for me because election 2016, um, when Trump won the first time, is when we were getting ready to start the remedy podcast. We were like planning and everything. But I just remember like watching CNN, like MSNBC. And on my Twitter timeline, I just saw so many people plugged in during like election week. And it was just, I was really just encouraged and excited to see so many people who were like, you know, keeping up with the news. But anyway, just watching stuff like that is like gives me such a rush. And I'm just like, man, like I just want to be in the field, like I want to be out there, you know, covering this. And you know, I wasn't there yet. So, but but that you know, was it last week or week before last? It's such a blur. It's it feels like election was so long ago.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_01But just being out there and even just being able to announce and break the news on that Saturday that you know the winner was announced, it was it's just a far, it's just a far ways away from where I was in 2016. And 2016 was not that long ago.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_01So it's just amazing to me to see how quickly the Lord has kind of um accelerated my journey. Yeah. Because one one thing about this industry is some people have to move and move and move and move before you know they get that big break. And I think that I'm definitely um one of many, I will maybe say unicorns who were able to even anchor in their first job.
SPEAKER_00You know, before 2016, you mentioned that you left undergrad feeling unprepared, not being comparing yourself to others and and not being on par, not having a reel, not having the experience, not having X, Y, Z. And look at where you are now.
SPEAKER_01It's it's amazing. And it's like even with that, um, with the situation leading up to me becoming an anchor, when I went in and told my boss that I didn't um feel like it was for me anymore, that that was just another sort of power play, I think, in God's plan. Because a few months later, my boss came back to me and he said, you know, we want you to have this job. What do I need to do for you to take it? And I'm gonna tell you how that works because typically in the news business, we have to sign a contract to be in a certain place. And if you become an anchor, you usually have to sign an extension. And I told my boss, I said, in order for me to take this job, we cannot extend my contract. And he agreed. And, you know, in that moment where I went in and I told him, you know, that I didn't want it back at March, I was nervous to do that.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_01You know, I was, but it felt like the right thing to do. And just seeing how the promotion was presented to me, I know I did the right thing.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_01Because in the end, it still worked out in my favor that yes, I get this, this, this title and a little paybunk. But, you know, I also am still, in a sense, kind of in control.
SPEAKER_00And what this highlights for me too is, you know, we talked about how scripture really runs different seasons and runs your life in a sense. This brings up for me the verse that says, your gift will make room for you. Because you came with your talent, your boss saw you as this person that's valuable to the news team, to the point where they're allowing you to call your shots or call the shots in order to keep you. I think that's wild. That's so good.
SPEAKER_01It was amazing. And let me tell you, I went down uh or came home and was writing up in my journal child. I was just like, thank you, Lord, you know. Um, because it felt it felt good. And it and it it felt rewarding to know that you know what? It works when you just stick up for yourself and know what your worth is. I like I know what I bring to the table, I know my work ethic, I know my passion for this business, and I know that it'll be valuable to anybody. So and especially after you know that whole ordeal in Lynchburg, like I'm not gonna fret if someone doesn't see that. If they don't see it, I'm not gonna fight it. You know, I'm gonna continue to get what I need to get from it and continue to play my role and hold on my skills, and you know, when the time comes to search for that next opportunity. And, you know, I I'm very fortunate in this sense that my boss did come back to me and say, Hey, you know, we want you to do this. He said, I think you're ready for this, I know you'll do well, versus, you know, my boss in Lynchburg that's just like, oh, you know, you can go.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_01Even even though other people saw what I could bring to the table, you know. But um, I'm just I've I've gotten to the point where I'm just I'm not gonna beg, you know, or plead or anything like that because there are so many other opportunities out here um to do anything. So, you know, my big advice to people um when it comes to that is I mean, it's gonna be disappointing and it's gonna hurt because no one likes to be rejected, yeah. Period. You know, but you have to look at yourself and realize, you know, what you have and what you bring. And if someone doesn't see it, it's okay, you know.
SPEAKER_00Because somebody else will.
SPEAKER_01It's so true.
SPEAKER_00Oh, I received that. That spoke to me, and I'm not even in news. Okay.
SPEAKER_01It's for anything, you know, it really is. Yes.
SPEAKER_00Now, season one of this podcast is unofficially themed the essential work of life and relationships. Now, we talked a little bit about life, and I would love to get into kind of a relationship component. So, not really the relationships between you and a partner, even though that would be really juicy. But we were going through this show today, and one thing stuck out you actually said, I'm in a place of overcoming work-related stress that almost made me want to quit. And I'm trying to become more intentional about self-care. So this is the perfect timing to have this conversation. And so I wanted to talk about your relationship to self-care. And also, you know, as a Black woman, you know, we don't speak enough about the stressors that black women go through. And so I would love to first kick off things by asking, just like, what does self-care look like for you? Because it could be bubble baths, but it could also be, you know, being assertive. So, what does that look like for you? And what what has been your experience with your relationship with self-care?
SPEAKER_01My relationship with self-care is a rocky one. Um, I'm gonna tell you, um, like around the time that you emailed me to invite me to come and do this, it it was it, I was in a very difficult place. I'm actually just kind of coming out of it. Like this week was probably the best week that I've had in a long time.
SPEAKER_02Thank you for sharing that.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, I mean, you know, vulnerability, something I'm working on. Shout out to my therapist. Shout out so, and she's black, yes. Yes, found me a nice little black therapist and Sarah Hope. But um one thing that she's been kind of getting on me about is not suppressing my needs. Wow, and it's hard, why because yeah, you know, and and that's a whole deep thing, but I I think I've always had um an issue with wanting or fearing that I'm gonna be like overbearing to someone, you know, by you know, unloading how I feel or unloading, you know, just different things onto them. And so, and it's like a lot of things that I need are not necessarily like physical things, but you know, sometimes just needing someone to be open and and talk to, you know, or just needing, um, I had to give her a whole list of things, I forgot most of them, but but she was just telling me, you know, don't be afraid to see what your needs are. Like if you need rest, take that, you know, if you need to, if you need to vent, do that, you know. And and and and and I don't, I don't know, you know, it's still something that I'm trying to figure out and something that I'm still trying to unpack. But the reason why I feel like I've been feeling so much stress lately is because I'm coming on the end of my contract. So I have about six months left until I'm a free bird. I can leave Indiana. And I have this fear that I'm gonna have to continue to move around um to different places just to move up. And I I'm tired of doing that. Like I don't want to do that anymore. Um, being away from people, and the way that I I see Terra Haute and the way that I've also seen Lynchburg is like this is work, like this is not home for me.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_01Um, you know, I mean, I still go out and have fun and things, but it's not, this isn't my life. I feel like I I'm working, I'm not living, you know.
SPEAKER_00First and foremost, thank you so much for sharing that. And what I will also say, like that's super powerful. And I think what I will also say is what's coming up for me is a couple things that you said throughout this interview. So my mind is going back to that scripture of do not be afraid. And you talked about how you and your therapists are also um unpacking this difficulty you're having with saying what you need. But when you were, no, but and when you were sharing um just your desires in this moment, it sounds like you not only need to tell people what you need, but you also need to tell God.
SPEAKER_01Yes, and he and I have been talking. Okay. But um I last week I took an extra day off. Um, I just needed like a little mental health day. And I went to talk to my boss the day after, you know, because he's a cool guy. He's been in the business for a long time. And um, you know, I'm sure that he has dealt with anxiety and stress as it relates to this profession. And so I was honest with him and I told him, you know, I think that I'm kind of experiencing bouts of depression or signs of depression because my appetite had changed. I was not eating. Um, and it's not that, like, it's not that um it was like an eating disorder or anything like that. I just didn't feel like eating. It just, you know, it just took more energy out of me to sit there and chew, you know, as silly as it sounds, but that's how I felt. You know, I'm like sleeping longer, you know, I'm always checking emails and stuff because like I had mentioned earlier, this is a very competitive business. It's about your looks, it's about how you sound, it's about the type of work that you do. And on top of that, everybody's out here looking for everybody. And people have gotten laid off this year, like the competition, it's fierce. And so I had to sit and re-evaluate, you know, is this really what I want to do in terms of like this version of news? Yeah, you know, and so um I have a friend who has really been encouraging me a lot recently to kind of get back to the things that I was doing before. So, like the podcasting, the vlogging, lifestyle, entertainment. That's what I've always loved to do, right? And I think sometimes we get distracted from our passions when we're doing the work of the day or when we're doing like the work of the season.
SPEAKER_00I I can't help but go ahead, go ahead. Tell me to mind my business if I need to mind my business. But I'm just gonna ask this question anyway.
SPEAKER_02Uh-huh.
SPEAKER_00Because I remember earlier on when we were having this conversation, you talked about how there was this one season of your life where that question came up again. Is this what I should be doing? And that question came up when things got really challenging. It seems like things were somewhat unstable. It seems like things were scary. And so while I'm definitely a proponent of, yeah, cast a wide net, stick to your passions, um, you know, see what your options are to see where you best align. I'm also curious, do you think this question is coming up as a response to fear and anxiety?
SPEAKER_01Well, like I had mentioned, the the only real fear that I have is, you know, still being away and being isolated. I just don't want to do that anymore. Like if I had my way, um, I would love to be back home or close to it. Um, you know, and I don't know how that's gonna look. But one thing that my boss did tell me, and after that, like I got a new pepper messed up, which is kind of weird. But he just, but he just told me, you know, he said, you have so many skills that there are so many places that I could fit within this industry that it's not exclusive to just local hard news. Because I know I don't want to stay in local hard news forever. So it kind of made me start reevaluating some things, and so after that, you know, I just kind of felt a weight off of my shoulders because I think sometimes we also kind of get caught up in this idea that we have to take a certain path and we have to do things X, Y, and Z away to get some and get somewhere, you know. And I mean, I think I was getting trapped into that, and you know, my boss him just saying something as simple as that, that simple piece of advice was just like, whoa, you know, um, maybe I do need to cast a net. Because I think that maybe I was starting to kind of box myself in.
unknownOkay.
SPEAKER_01Um, but another thing too, and this word has been coming up um in my devotional time, probably since the beginning of 2020, is the word flexibility. I don't know what it means though.
SPEAKER_00Yes, yes.
SPEAKER_01I'm still trying to figure that out.
SPEAKER_00Uh-huh. What are these initial pangs giving you?
SPEAKER_01So when I first read it and um I saw the term flexibility, I'm thinking, flexibility, okay, maybe you're not going to be in terror hole that long. That was like super hopeful, wishful thinking. Then I started thinking, well, maybe it has to do with um, you know, location, which is the truth, which could be true. And now I'm like, I just don't know, you know, but I know that that word has been consistent. So now I'm just kind of plugging in and just trying to figure out, okay, Lord, you know, what do you, what, what do you mean by this? What is this gonna look like? Um, because I my time is winding down. But in terms of, I'm going back to your question about like what self-care is looking like, because I wasn't caring for myself well. Um, and it was starting to show, and people were starting to kind of bring it to me, you know, that hey, you need to do this, like you need to, you need to be eating, you need to unplug from your emails, you need to take a day to yourself. And it was so hard for me to not do that because you know, I've been so I'm so focused on trying to make sure I'm in the right position to find the next job, you know, like it's been like overbearing. Yeah. But now self-care has looked, and and I'm taking baby steps, but in these last few days, it has looked like me eating breakfast and lunch. Um, I started taking vitamins, so that's like actually taking care of my health. Um you know, also self-care for me is giving myself things to look forward to. So, for example, this Friday, my um mother and my grandfather are coming to visit me. I'm doing like a dance with the stars thing, and so they're coming to watch me do that.
SPEAKER_00Oh, nice.
SPEAKER_01And, you know, that's giving me something to look forward to, that's giving me joy, right? And then once they leave, um, I'll be going home for the Christmas season. So that is giving me something else to look forward to, also. So in this last part of 2020, I have decided that yes, I'm gonna continue to show up at work, I'm gonna continue to give my best, but I'm gonna spend the last half of this year just pouring back into me. Me. Like I'm still, you know, I'm still going to work. I'm still going to do my job. But you know what? I can't, I can't deliver if I'm not in a good space, if I'm not feeling good about myself. You can't pour from an empty vessel. I can't. So you know, we we don't have that much longer until 2020 is over. So I'm intentionally just gonna fill my fill myself back up, you know, and that's what self-care is gonna look like for me.
SPEAKER_00Oh my goodness, Taylor, I thank you so much for sharing truly that word. Because I think people listening to your story can really take things away and sit with themselves and and identify ways that they're actually not caring for themselves and maybe ways that they can care for themselves.
SPEAKER_01Yes, and I and I hope so because I mean I have ignored it so badly to the point where people were just like, you know, like I said, people were pointing it out.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_01And that's when you know it's bad, you know.
SPEAKER_00Surely, surely.
SPEAKER_01That's when you know. And I and I just had to kind of look at myself and think, you know, what do I need to do? Like, I've I mean, I'm not that big now, but I was losing weight. So I'm like, I can't be losing weight, you know. Like, and then we have COVID going around. I need to be building my immune system. Like, you know, I was just really neglecting myself, and I'm of no good to anybody if I continue to do that. So um, I'm in a better mental space. You know, I had a great week. Um, the Lord definitely blessed me with this last work week. It wasn't strenuous, um, like it has been in the past, because also with my job as a weekend anchor, I have to manage other people. So I'm managing the reporters, I'm making sure things are updated. And in news, things can happen fast and things need to change quickly. So I have to think quick on my toes, you know. Um, and even in that position, I have to be assertive in terms of delegating tasks and having difficult conversations with people if they make mistakes. And so it's a lot to take in and not allowing that and the things that happen there to affect me and my livelihood. And it was definitely becoming the case. Yeah, you know, and I just I could I can't continue to take it, you know, headaches and stuff.
SPEAKER_00Like I just oh, that's a sign. Yeah, heard you brings me back to University of Maryland. Them orgo classes were giving me headaches, and that's where I knew we need to start doing some care. Now, to wrap up this first part of the the interview, complete this sentence. Happiness is happiness.
SPEAKER_01Is I would say being with myself and enjoying that company. It's it's weird because well, I don't know about I don't know if I should say it's weird, but it's interesting sometimes, you know. I'll just be chilling. And I just find myself just like smiling for you know, no particular reason. I just feel good, I just feel at peace, you know. And I think being with myself and being pleased where I am and being happy and being pleased, you know, with um, you know, where where I've been and what I've done creates happiness because at the end of the day, you know, we're we are really and we're learning with this pandemic. Sometimes we're really all that we have. When you're when you're cut off from the world, so it's like, you know, you want to be able to be with yourself and love yourself. And I think that if you have that, that brings joy, not just happiness, but joy, you know.
SPEAKER_00I love that.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_00Thank you so much. And thank you for again taking time out to be a guest on the show and sharing with the people your story and your perspectives and the things that you've learned. Now we're gonna move into a portion of the show called Let's Spin the Rose Bottle.
SPEAKER_02Let's spin it, yes.
SPEAKER_00Okay, and so I have spent this entire time asking you questions, listening to your stories, having you like spill all of your business and thank you so much for your vulnerability. Um, now you get the chance to ask me one question. It can be dry, it can be juicy, it can be nothing at all, and we'll move on. But if it is something, I have to give a response.
SPEAKER_01Okay. So you're in Atlanta now, right?
SPEAKER_02I am.
SPEAKER_01Okay. Um what would you say? Because I think everybody feels like Atlanta is like this Mecca, right? Like Atlanta is a place to be. What don't you like about Atlanta?
SPEAKER_00I will say Atlanta's a great city. And I think we do paint this picture of it being this big Mecca, which I'm sure for some it really is. I think I'm here at an interesting time. So it's open, but it's not open. Um, I'm here to complete my clinical training. So my focus isn't on just being a part of the city. So I don't know if I'm getting the full experience, the full Atlanta experience. What I will say that doesn't gel with me, though, from what I've seen thus far, is that while I've made some great connections, it is also hard to make connections with people because I feel like Atlanta might be what some liken to a mini Hollywood where everyone's trying to be a brand. So before I get to know like who you are, what you do, what makes you tick, you know, what what are your good qualities, what are your bad qualities? I already know your business, your your hair care, your this, your that, you know? And so that can be a little taxing, especially, especially spending the entire day being a therapist and holding everyone's stuff.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_00It can be difficult going into the world seeking real human connection. And it seems like all I'm holding is is more stuff in the form of like branding and marketing, if that makes sense.
SPEAKER_01That's interesting. And it's funny too that it's kind of like labeled a black Hollywood because my cousins, they're from Los Angeles, and um she was saying it's the same way. Like, you know, people out there are just she's like, they're just not real.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, I'm happy for you and your brand, but who are you?
SPEAKER_01You know, and Atlanta, I agree. It's beautiful. One of my best friends, she just moved from there, but she was working down there at CNN, and um, I went to visit her um a couple of times. I actually went, I was down there lat last year around Halloween, and I mean we had a blast. Like it was such a good time. It was such a good time. The food is good, the environment is good, it's just nice to see, you know, so many of our people, yes, um, you know, in a beautiful area. Yes, yes. That airport is a nightmare, but say so. It's a beautiful city, and I love it. And I love my housewives too.
SPEAKER_00Yes, I will say, you know, the question prompted me to highlight something I didn't like about Atlanta, but I really do love the city. I think it's a great time. I wouldn't mind spending, you know, extra time here. So we'll see what what the Lord says about that.
SPEAKER_01Yes, we will. We will. I'm I'm grateful, you know, um that you enjoy what I had to say. Because sometimes when I talk, I feel like I'm just going all different directions.
SPEAKER_00No, so this is okay, this is the beauty of I think this platform, right? So I've reached out to people in my social network truly with the intention of figuring out what their story is or just listening to their story. And my hope and my intention is that as the different people who come on here bear their souls and share their stories, listeners will be able to take even just one little gem. Because I think so often we go through this life seeking direction and we don't get the chance to just listen to people's stories and see how they're figuring things out. So it builds like a little community.
SPEAKER_01It it is. And, you know, I I love this podcast world in general because there's just so much out there, so many discussions taking place. Um, you know, people that we know, people that we don't know, you learn so much, you gain information, you gain wisdom, you know, it's just it's a great, it's a great thing. And I'm so glad that you are still out here doing it.
SPEAKER_00Thank you. You honestly don't know how much that means. And I thank you. That's all I can say. Thank you, thank you.
SPEAKER_01And also and I love your voice too. I love your voice.
SPEAKER_00Oh, thanks. It's a little worn out from the weekend, but she's still here. Well, Taylor, thank you again. Is there anything that you want to plug before we tell the people goodbye?
SPEAKER_01Anything that I want to plug, um, I will say right now my Twitter is private, but you can follow me if you want um at Azalous Voice. It will be unlocked once I leave this job. You know, I need somewhere where I can cut up a little bit.
SPEAKER_02Purge you.
SPEAKER_01So that's what I have with that. Um, but you can follow me on Instagram um at Newslady Tay. That is my professional journalism account. Um, my other Instagram, Azalous Voice, also. Um, you can follow that one too. I'm purging it right now. Um, because I'm I'm working on um just kind of this this rebrand. Now that I'm kind of you know figuring out my direction and and what I want to do is getting, I guess, a little clearer to me with new projects and stuff. I really want that to be my home base for those things. But my Instagram starts in 2011 when I started college. So I had like over 2300 pictures of just stuff.
SPEAKER_00Oh, okay. This was a photo album.
SPEAKER_01It was a photo album. And like 2020, Taylor is so mad at Taylor from years past because I'm like, girl, why'd you post so many pictures on Instagram?
SPEAKER_00We've all been there. I cringe all the time.
SPEAKER_01Because it's taking forever for me to archive them all. So, you know, so I'm I'm working on that. Um, you know, I have some things in the works, they will be announced once they're done. Yes. Um, but I'm just excited to get back into this world of of just communication, yes, different forms of communication.
SPEAKER_00I'm here for it. And so we will be following you on IG at Newslady Tay.
SPEAKER_01Newslady Tay.
SPEAKER_00Yes. And Love Bugs, this has been another episode of the Roseanne Thorns podcast. I'll see you next week. Bye. Thank you for listening to Roseanne Thorns, a P Ryan podcast. Uh-huh. You can find Roseanne Thorns on Instagram and Twitter at Rose and T Pod. Uh-huh. That's R-O-S-E-N-T-O-P-O-D. And you can find P Ryan on Instagram and Twitter at I am P Ryan. That's I-A-M-O-P-R-Y-A-N.